The desire to punish

The other afternoon as I was leaving for work I was overcome by the desire to "punish" my wife. Being on the night shift, I was sleeping during the day and I woke up to Emma screaming and a teenage girl babysitting the kids, which just felt weird waking up to some other woman being in your house while your asleep. So I carefully took a shower and then mistakenly overpaid the babysitter and sent her home. I realized Lee Ann was gone at a Musical she had taken both her parents to on our dime. So I took the kids outside and we played until Lee Ann got home at 5:10. I needed to be at work in 20 minutes. I changed quickly and didn't get any dinner before work. I wanted to punish her. I wouldn't look her in the eye. I gave her short answers. I avoided her. I was going to punish her by any means necessary. Part of me knew I shouldn't punish her, much of the frustration of the day was unavoidable, plans made far in advance.
I was wrong to even want to punish her. Where does this desire come from?